The real life of male escorts - ist this really all fun and money?
A strangely sympathetic couple featured in the new comedy "My Hours with Leo". but then dig deeper into the world of
adult work, sex work, escort work..
What it's about: Nancy Stokes is a retired teacher and widow. Leo Grande is a call boy. She has only had (bad) sex with her now deceased husband all her life. He fulfils women's intimate desires - for money.
Nancy decides to experience something after all, perhaps to have the first orgasm of her life. At least to try things she has never dared before. She books Leo, an empathetic young professional with a lot of feeling. Nancy has even written a to-do list that she wants to work through with him: blowjob, cunnilingus, 69, riding position, doggy style. It turns out differently. I won't reveal any more, but the film is definitely worth seeing. Because it is not only funny, but also touches on important topics: ageing, false morality, body positivity,
sex job.
Men for "hire" - whether as escorts to events, business dinners or as pleasure boys: rather a taboo niche.
The female inhibition threshold is high. The offer is correspondingly manageable. Women are more selective, and for many of them it's not all about sex.
It's complicated: "Many women just want to talk, but some also book for business deals. For this, the escort men study a role as a token companion. Some actually book a man specifically for sex. They book a suite in the city centre, go out for dinner first and only decide afterwards how to proceed," says an insider who doesn't want to give her name but knows the industry well.
The clients are mainly from the upper middle class: doctors, psychologists, managers. Women who can afford to pay 1000 dollars for a night. It's a lot about attention, attention, admiration or having a charming companion who first adorns them and finally makes them happy. The vibe has to be right, maybe even make the heart beat a little faster. Women are different from men, they need the whole, the interconnectedness in the mind, they want to be entertained.
"I have to see if the man really suits me, like to sniff him out. I need time for that," says a 48-year-old woman who sometimes treats herself to a callboy.
Meet Mario, the male escort
"Mario," 32, makes around $70,000 a year as a part-time, New York based male escort — a side business he started eight years ago.
I never would've guessed that being a male escort would be my carrieer. I mean, I was a late bloomer growing up in rural Virginia. I didn't even lose my virginity until I was 19, with someone I met on vacation in Puerto Rico.
I'd never known anyone who did sex work, and also I didn't realize that my size was so unusual until I started getting into the kink world. I'd shown off during high school, playing around on web cams, but it wasn't until my mid-20s, when I started having a lot of sex, that I fully realized what a selling point it can be. I've heard everything from "That's the biggest thing I've ever seen!" to "That looks painful." Some women call me "Horse." You have to learn different techniques when you're my size. Patience and focusing on foreplay becomes really important, because you can hurt someone.
I loved sex. I didn't have a girlfriend at the time. Why not get paid to do something I enjoyed?
Of course I worried about the fact that it's, you know, illegal. But that was part of the allure. And I think prostitution should be legal. It's no one's business what anyone does with his or her body.
This kind of adult job is not simply about being "good in bed."
In fact, I often feel like a kind of sex therapist: someone who helps women figure out how to voice their desires, needs, and fantasies. A lot of my clients have been involved with men who aren't interested in what turns women on. The advantage of hiring an escort is that I'm up for whatever you want to try.
The male escort job is about enjoying sex and sexuality. I've been to sex parties and sex clubs, but I'm not a big fan. They tend to be trashy and forced, and I prefer to let things unfold more organically.
in numbers (statistics 1 month - 3 months -1 year)
